That would be Thank God This Fucking Semester Is Over!
yes, i cursed. you'd be cursing to if it happened to you!!
Monday, May 19, 2008
I've Got Mail!
I got a box full of delicious and fun goodies!!! It was the perfect pick-me-up from the week from hell last week...THANKS APRIL the MAGNANIMOUS!!!
Here's A Tip
Here's a tip for taxi drivers in the 5 boroughs for wheedling out more of my hard earned cash for your tip:
1. Don't SCREAM at me the following words: "IF YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE CREDIT CARD MACHINE, JUST GIVE ME CASH."
and for the first time in my life i did NOT tip the driver. and I yelled back. AND i slammed the car door. (i know, i know--i've committed a plethora of southern sins in a span of 3 minutes)
2. Don't get pissy with me because i just screamed STOP! because your radio is BLARING and you can't hear the directions/address that I just gave you and you first missed the road that directly gets us there, and then missed my house because you couldn't hear me say stop the first 15 times and it's 10pm and we're now headed into the projects, where the police don't even venture after dark. and yes, he did get a small tip, but only because he knows where I live...
apparently Sunday--regardless of the time or borough--was NOT the day to take a taxi! grrr...
1. Don't SCREAM at me the following words: "IF YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE CREDIT CARD MACHINE, JUST GIVE ME CASH."
and for the first time in my life i did NOT tip the driver. and I yelled back. AND i slammed the car door. (i know, i know--i've committed a plethora of southern sins in a span of 3 minutes)
2. Don't get pissy with me because i just screamed STOP! because your radio is BLARING and you can't hear the directions/address that I just gave you and you first missed the road that directly gets us there, and then missed my house because you couldn't hear me say stop the first 15 times and it's 10pm and we're now headed into the projects, where the police don't even venture after dark. and yes, he did get a small tip, but only because he knows where I live...
apparently Sunday--regardless of the time or borough--was NOT the day to take a taxi! grrr...
Friday, May 9, 2008
An Important Message from the National Peanut Farmers:
What else goes so well with beer AND chocolate?
General Housekeeping Tips
If your window doesn't stay open by itself, you can always use a bleach bottle.
If you're walking around in thongs (flip-flops) and they start rubbing blisters, use a napkin as a barrier between the flops and your feet.
If you're a plumber, you should consider wearing thongs (NOT flip flops), as I saw a girl bend over with her arse hanging out her pants and THANK GOD! she had on a thong, as I was seeing more crack than a Plumbers Convention. It was like a train wreck--you couldn't help but stare, even if you didn't wanna!
Under NO circumstances should you give anyone 8 shots of espresso....
If you're walking around in thongs (flip-flops) and they start rubbing blisters, use a napkin as a barrier between the flops and your feet.
If you're a plumber, you should consider wearing thongs (NOT flip flops), as I saw a girl bend over with her arse hanging out her pants and THANK GOD! she had on a thong, as I was seeing more crack than a Plumbers Convention. It was like a train wreck--you couldn't help but stare, even if you didn't wanna!
Under NO circumstances should you give anyone 8 shots of espresso....
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Manna from Heaven
I think that if you find a phone on the bus and you use it to call Brooklyn 47 times, talking for 75 minutes to the SAME number, then you're a FUCKWIT and won't your Momma be proud...
But of course, since it was MY phone and MY minutes and it wasn't ME you were talking too, I'm a bit biased...
Thankfully Sprint in a very un-Sprint-like helpful fashion refunded my minutes (and thankfully it was only Brooklyn and not Timuktu!) and sent a replacement phone (with a $50 deposit of course)...of course, now I have to re-enter all of my contact information, not to mention all the ringers, photos, etc.
But of course, since it was MY phone and MY minutes and it wasn't ME you were talking too, I'm a bit biased...
Thankfully Sprint in a very un-Sprint-like helpful fashion refunded my minutes (and thankfully it was only Brooklyn and not Timuktu!) and sent a replacement phone (with a $50 deposit of course)...of course, now I have to re-enter all of my contact information, not to mention all the ringers, photos, etc.
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