Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Reindeer, Beware!

At 8:08 tonight, I was walking into the Ferry Terminal, thinking that I was going to catch the 8:30 ferry, however, to my delight the 8:00 ferry was late and thus just boarding.

As I about to reach ferry doors, the guards start to close one of them (there are two). All of a sudden from behind me, a 70-ish year old woman comes running (shuffling) towards the door that is closing. There is a guard standing between her and the closing door, motioning for people (ie the shuffling Grandma) to use the door that is still open (ie the door that I, along with about 20 other people, am using).

Oh, but no. Shuffling Grandma, in a haste to make the ferry does not see/does not notice/is not aware of the motioning guard or the group of people veering towards the other door. Instead she opts to shimmy the gap between the closing door and the guard directing people to the wide-open-not-closing door. Well, in the course of trying to shimmy, she slightly loses her balance, runs into the guard, then bounces back onto the closing door and then twists, trips, and stumbles through the ferry door, which has now closed. She then stands up, straightens her dress, turns to the guard, still completely oblivious to all the people coming in through the still wide-open-not-closing door and says (I kid you not):

Do you fucking mind? I'm trying to catch the ferry!

At which point all the guard could do was shake his head and chuckle at the complete ridiculousness of it all...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm Not Judging You Lady, But....

Do you really think it's a good idea to smoke while walking around with your oxygen tank?

Okay, whatever you want, but could you please NOT walk next to me NOR get on the ferry that I'm about to board? I would hate for your stupidity to cause me to have to swim to Staten Island and fill out a police report.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Thank You, Mr. Obvious!

Overheard in the Hershey's Store in Times Square (father to his son):

I KNOW! It smells just like chocolate!

HELLO GENIUS! WE'RE IN THE HERSHEY STORE! I'm pretty sure it IS chocolate....