Thursday, April 29, 2010

OMG, Are You Kidding Me?

So I met the biggest ass this morning on my train ride.

I realize that you may be thinking "yeah, aren't all New Yorkers?" but no, most aren't asses...perhaps a bit oblivious or zoning off into their own i-pod entranced world and often confrontational, but usually not just an ass for ass's sake (unless sports are involved, then all bets are off)....I mean, even my puke guy apologized profusely and seemed mortified by his behavior.

But I digress...on the way to work this morning, I get on the train and it's pretty full and seats are limited, but it's 6:30am and I don't really feel like standing.  I look over and see a guy sitting with his feet up on the seats, taking up 3 seats.  OH HELL NO!  So I walk over and say, "excuse me I'd like to sit" (yes, I am capable of manners, contrary to most people's beliefs, even at that ungodly hour), so he draws his legs towards him and "opens" one seat for me.

Except that really he's a bit big (and i'm not talking old here) to be sitting like his legs keep trying to slide out, except that my leg is blocking any progress.  This is how we rode and the ONLY thing giving me me reprieve was the fact that he was obviously so uncomfortable...i, of course, pretended to ignore his existence, until I reached my stop, got up, shook my head, wiped his footprints off my coat, and loudly exclaimed "fucking ridiculous," and walked off the train--looking back, only once, still shaking my head to find him staring at me.

I wonder if he was able to straighten out his legs properly???  Without a bit of contriteness, I would like to say "I hope not."

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Yeah, Riiiight....

So I'm walking the pupcicle; we're minding our own business, happily strolling along when we pass three slightly inebriated, scantily clad people who are ogling at the size of the pupcicle (okay, she is quite large, especially in New Yorker terms)...and one of them comments:

"Shheee-it! That dog bite me, I don't care how big he is, I gonna bite his ass back"

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

stupid beyotch.

in case you're wondering, NO, i did not let Addy bite her to see what she would actually do. what? you know I don't allow Addy to eat crap off the street (yeah, i said it)...

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Ultimate in Recharging...

Overheard in the cafe:

Excuse me sir, do you mind if I plug myself in?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Well That's Certainly Good Information To Have...

Overheard in the library today:

med student #1 (yes, i know he was a med student, as he was loudly discussing having to schedule his boards for this summer with med student #2, who just got finished scheduling hers...OI! PEOPLE! this is a LIBRARY, i'd rather not listen to your conversation, thankyouverymuch....but if you're going to be accommodating and make it entertaining, then i'm going to blog about it...)

And since I'm interrupting anyway, Butler--for those of you not familiar with Columbia University--is the main library at the downtown campus (or as Momma calls it "the pretty campus, why can't you take classes here??")

ahem, where was I? oh yeah...

Med student #1: Eeeuww, I can't go study in Butler, those people stink in there.

Med student #2: ha ha ha...what? stink? like they don't bathe?

Med student #1: Nooo, well, maybe, but it's hot and smelly and they're all sweaty. It's too hard to concentrate, I'd rather just stay here, it's not as close to home, but smells A LOT better.

um. thanks, i think...