Thursday, August 28, 2008

While I'm Neither Stacy nor Clinton...

I'm pretty sure I'm fashion-savvy enough to know that if you're going to be a freebird and not wear a bra, but yet want to wear a tank top, please do the world a favor and make sure it adequately covers your large sagging boobs. Not only would it be considered What Not To Wear, but nobody--especially me--needs to see that at 8am.

Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

You Know Perhaps You Should Be Grateful He Even Stopped...

My bus stop is under a bit of construction currently (I'm not quite sure how, but there's a HUGE hole in the street exactly in front of the bus stop), so it's anyone's guess where the bus driver will stop: before the bus stop, after the bus stop, in front of the bus stop but in the middle of street thus blocking traffic on one of Staten Island's busiest streets while waiting for everyone to pile on the bus. I should also mention that as the bus approaches the stop, it is going around a curve and downhill, so probably not the easiest stop to make. There has been more than one occasion where the bus driver, not paying attention or in a hurry or just didn't see me has driven past without so much as a backward glance.

So this morning, waiting on the bus...with the slowest walker on the planet in front of me (I know, I was following her down the sidewalk and because not only is she slow, she's also a weaver, I couldn't pass her). The bus stops LITERALLY 3 steps (I counted) from where she was standing. 3 STEPS and once she FINALLY heaved herself onto the bus starts yelling at the bus driver for passing us by and berating him for not wanting to stop for us.

WTF? 3 STEPS LADY...that is all you had to move...really, really you're going to yell at him because you had to take 3 STEPS to get on the bus?!?!?!?!?


Hmmm...Well That Explains A Lot!

No wonder I'm so confused/confusing...I took a questionnaire on AOL this morning trying to figure out if I'm right brained or left brained, out of the 10 questions asked, I answered 5 questions like a right brainer and 5 questions like a left brainer...

whadda ya suppose that means??

Monday, August 18, 2008

Tour Guide

I'm becoming quite the tour guide--perhaps I'll just do that instead of 2 jobs and school.

The secret: have visitors so exhausted by the end of their trip, they're not sure if they're coming or going and thus are quite sure they did everything :)

Friday, August 15, 2008

A Texas Democrat--Ain't No Such Thang!

So while Christi & Tracy were visiting we sought refuge from the rain one afternoon near my theatre job on the Upper West Side at a cool little bar call The Blue Donkey.

Of course, being Texans, Christi & I have to talk with everyone and soon we befriended people sitting at the bar. Here's the conversation that got the ball rolling:

Guy to Christi: "Do you live around here?"
Girl sitting next to Guy: "Are you nuts, look how they're dressed--they're tourists!"
Guy to Christi: "Really, where are you from?"
Tracy: "Texas."
Guy to Christi: "So what brings you to this bar?" (NOT a touristy place)
Christi (pointing to the blue donkey on the wall): "We're democrats!"
Laughter erupts!
Girl sitting next to Guy: "Wait, you mean there is such a thing as a Texas Democrat?"

ps--on a sad note, the Guy was very disheartened to learn that Tracy belonged to Christi and not to me. pooooor Guy....

Hey Lady Do You Mind???

While on the bus headed to escape the rain in a fabulous little bar on the Upper West Side called the Blue Donkey, Christi is attempting to get her insulin prescription renewed--which is turning into an ordeal.

She's on the phone with the pharmacist, who cannot hear her, so Christi is talking loudly. Not shouting, not yelling, just talking above a normal speaking voice. There are only 2 other people on the bus with Christi, TK, and I: an older gentleman and a grouchy old hag (any guesses as for whom this story will be about??)

The grouchy old hag turns around and yells at Christi "Do you mind? We all have lives and we all have problems but we don't need to hear yours!"

Christi does very well, and ignores her. Mrs. Hag is looking around for confirmation, when gentleman sighs and shakes his head at her in an "really, that was over-the-top, lady" kinda way.

TK is trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, and because Christi is still on the phone and still having a hard time being heard, I nearly bit my tongue in half trying not to tell Mrs. Hag to mind her own business.

The best part: later on, Mrs. Hag's on the phone talking LOUDER than Christi ever did...and again, I had to bite my tongue to prevent from being incredibly rude and very non-PC and saying "since you're being so loud and we have to listen to you anyway, you mind speaking in English so that we can all know what you're saying?" what? i refrained...

The kicker: is that later on there was a New Yorker talking even louder and about very inappropriate things for a general public bus ride and Ms. Hag didn't say one single, solitary word....

never a dull moment....never!