Wow...That Certainly Is Classsssyyyyy....

I'm at the bus stop, on my way to the grocery store (read: in old jeans, t-shirt, no make-up, and hair pulled back sloppily...you know, my normal look--ha!) when a suburban is turning the corner, honks, driver is hanging his head out of the window yelling "damn baby you look fiiiine!"

I look around, no one else nearby.

Great, thanks Mr. I'm-Driving-Around-With-My-Wife/Girlfriend/Baby Momma-And-3-Kids.

Yeah, What Are You Thinking???

So this teenage girl walked into the laundrymat this morning with her 10 & 8ish year old brothers and starts putting randomly putting laundry into the washers. Watching her with his mouth wide open staring, the 10 year brother yells: "What are you thinking?!? You have to separate the laundry first! Urgh...do I have to do everything myself???"

Reindeer, Beware!

At 8:08 tonight, I was walking into the Ferry Terminal, thinking that I was going to catch the 8:30 ferry, however, to my delight the 8:00 ferry was late and thus just boarding.

As I about to reach ferry doors, the guards start to close one of them (there are two). All of a sudden from behind me, a 70-ish year old woman comes running (shuffling) towards the door that is closing. There is a guard standing between her and the closing door, motioning for people (ie the shuffling Grandma) to use the door that is still open (ie the door that I, along with about 20 other people, am using).

Oh, but no. Shuffling Grandma, in a haste to make the ferry does not see/does not notice/is not aware of the motioning guard or the group of people veering towards the other door. Instead she opts to shimmy the gap between the closing door and the guard directing people to the wide-open-not-closing door. Well, in the course of trying to shimmy, she slightly loses her balance, runs into the guard, then bounces back onto the closing door and then twists, trips, and stumbles through the ferry door, which has now closed. She then stands up, straightens her dress, turns to the guard, still completely oblivious to all the people coming in through the still wide-open-not-closing door and says (I kid you not):

Do you fucking mind? I'm trying to catch the ferry!

At which point all the guard could do was shake his head and chuckle at the complete ridiculousness of it all...

I'm Not Judging You Lady, But....

Do you really think it's a good idea to smoke while walking around with your oxygen tank?

Okay, fine...do whatever you want, but could you please NOT walk next to me NOR get on the ferry that I'm about to board? I would hate for your stupidity to cause me to have to swim to Staten Island and fill out a police report.

Thank You, Mr. Obvious!

Overheard in the Hershey's Store in Times Square (father to his son):

I KNOW! It smells just like chocolate!



HELLO GENIUS! WE'RE IN THE HERSHEY STORE! I'm pretty sure it IS chocolate....

The Irony Is, Well, Ironical...

So I went to the Gay Pride Parade with a few friends today. Had a great time, but let me just make the following comments:

1. I find it highly unfair that I was surrounded by many, many, many gorgeous men, all of whom were interested in...checking each other out.

2. To all the women wearing white bras and shorts/pants/skirts: really? you couldn't have at least found a pretty or colorful bra to wear?? maybe a swim suit top, which would have been waaay more appropriate??? I get that you wanted to show lots of skin (whether or not you should) and it was hot, but who told you this was appropriate attire for leaving the house? More importantly, WHY on earth did you listen to them??

EEEEUUUUWWW!

So I'm on the subway and notice something on my shoe. Thinking it's a bit of paper, I went to pull it off, only to discover that it is actually a band-aid, which is now sticking to my hand....which i'm trying to fling off (quite unsuccessfully) while trying not to loudly squeal "eeuuwww! eeeuuuww!!!"

finally managed to get it off my hand, not even caring that it's on the floor (and will probably end up back on my shoe), wondering if I have anything to clean my hands. as i'm rifling through my bag with my non-band-aid attacked hand, I look up to see a lady holding out anti-bacterial gel (with a slightly disgusted-why-did-you-even-touch-it-in-the-first-place look on her face).

ahhh...to my anti-bacterial savior: thank you! thank you! thank you!