Wait...What?

a subway ad I saw the other day:

Still A Virgin?
Call For Help
1-800.....

No Thanks...I'll Pass...

So there's a deli down the street that I pass at least twice a day on the bus.  The other day traffic was backed up and the bus was stopped in front of the deli long enough for me to read the sign offered CULD CUTS & SANDWICHES.

um...

um...

um...

no thanks?

Um, I Second That Motion...

Overheard on the phone:

"I know it's her party, but don't care what she wants!  We are NOT, lemme repeat NOT, having a baby shower at Golden Corral."

The Problem with Graffiti: No Spell Check.

As seen in the subway (and you can't make this stuff up):

"MTA sucks  /  bunchov crocked theives!"

so many comments.  so little time...and then right next to it:

"black bitchs love white dick"

the best part of this is that someone else felt the need to set the record straight:

"um, no they don't"

FLEET WEEK!

or as Brie likes to call it: her favorite week of the year.

'nough said.

:)

I'm Just Sayin'

The subway doors aren't going to open any faster if you kick them.  I only mention this because I saw it three--THAT'S RIGHT! THREE--times today!

really?!?!??!?

OMG, Are You Kidding Me?

So I met the biggest ass this morning on my train ride.

I realize that you may be thinking "yeah, aren't all New Yorkers?" but no, most aren't asses...perhaps a bit oblivious or zoning off into their own i-pod entranced world and often confrontational, but usually not just an ass for ass's sake (unless sports are involved, then all bets are off)....I mean, even my puke guy apologized profusely and seemed mortified by his behavior.

But I digress...on the way to work this morning, I get on the train and it's pretty full and seats are limited, but it's 6:30am and I don't really feel like standing.  I look over and see a guy sitting with his feet up on the seats, taking up 3 seats.  OH HELL NO!  So I walk over and say, "excuse me I'd like to sit" (yes, I am capable of manners, contrary to most people's beliefs, even at that ungodly hour), so he draws his legs towards him and "opens" one seat for me.

Except that really he's a bit big (and i'm not talking old here) to be sitting like that...so his legs keep trying to slide out, except that my leg is blocking any progress.  This is how we rode and the ONLY thing giving me me reprieve was the fact that he was obviously so uncomfortable...i, of course, pretended to ignore his existence, until I reached my stop, got up, shook my head, wiped his footprints off my coat, and loudly exclaimed "fucking ridiculous," and walked off the train--looking back, only once, still shaking my head to find him staring at me.

I wonder if he was able to straighten out his legs properly???  Without a bit of contriteness, I would like to say "I hope not."